I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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