How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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