can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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