we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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