i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
