i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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