It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Randomize
