I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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