He is an equal opportunity slut.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
