jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
