Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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