Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
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