I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
