He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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