i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize