This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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