i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
