The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
