it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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