Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
