What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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