Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
