i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
