Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
honey bunches of taint.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
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