I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
