Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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