omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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