Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize