eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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