we're chasing vodka with high fives
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Randomize
