Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
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