We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
how does that bad decision feel?
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
