There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
