You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Randomize
