Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
