i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
