I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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