i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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