tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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