There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
