I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Someone came in the potted fern
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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