Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Randomize
