Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
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