I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
