You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Randomize
