They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
we're so committed to being not committed
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
