I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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