worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Randomize
