how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
