my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Randomize
