He is such a slut. More and more my type.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Randomize
