so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
