are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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