i can't believe i had my finger in that
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I'm too high and old for this...
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
