wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize
