I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
