Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Randomize
