Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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