Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Randomize
