I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
